Our 8th grandchild was born a little over an hour ago! A boy weighing 7 lbs, 15 oz! Mom and baby are doing great. Here's a picture from the happy parents!
Sunday, October 21, 2012
The older I get, the more I realize I know nothing and I am wrong more often than not. But that doesn't stop me from spouting off way too often. I share, advise, critique, and rant. I talk when I should listen. I give my so-called expertise when it wasn't asked for. I judge others for doing some of the same things I do. But of course, I'm doing it because __________ (fill in the blank), so that makes it okay. Not.
I wish I wasn't so loud and opinionated. I wish I
could would temper my tongue. I wish I wasn't so snarky and sarcastic. I wish I was one of those sweet, soft spoken women who never has a bad thing to say about anyone. I wish so many things. I've tried hard to change the way I think, the way I speak, the way I act. To the point where I'm not sure who I am anymore. There has to be a middle ground, but I can't seem to find it.
My husband is in a leadership position at church now and I've watched him grow and change in the past several months. It's amazing! Not that he wasn't great before, but he's just so much more now. The change in him has made me see and feel my shortcomings stronger than ever. I want to be more like him. And like Him. I want to look for and recognize the good in others. I want to be filled with love and compassion and charity. I want to not be resentful and jealous when work and church duties take Darrell away from time with me. I want to overcome the natural man--which is alive and well within me.
My solution has been to distance myself from the general population. If I'm not around people, I can better control my natural tendencies. I stay home, I don't go to activities if I can help it, I make my blog private. I've even deleted my Facebook page. But sooner or later, I have to go out into the world. Not to mention that those I love most in the world are still subjected to my "words of wisdom". So I've got to figure out some way of finding a better me. The me the Lord wants me to be. The me I fear I'll never become.
Wish me luck.