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Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Guilty!

Julie Ann Barnhill is an author I've recently discovered and who has quickly become a favorite. The first book of hers that I read was One Tough Mother. The title captured my attention immediately. --off topic for a minute--What attracts you to a book? When you're browsing at Barnes and Noble, not looking for anything in particular, what makes you choose one book over another? I am first attracted by the title of a book. But if I don't like the picture on the cover, I'll put the book back. I'm sure I've missed out on some great reading due to this habit. --okay, back on track--

One Tough Mother is very funny, but also quite insightful. It's one of those books I wish I'd had when my kids were little. One I truly wish one of my daughters (who doesn't read this blog) would read and take to heart. But again, I digress.

Not long ago, I read another of Julie Ann's books entitled She's Gonna Blow. Again, very helpful, though not as funny as the first. Now I am reading Motherhood: The Guilt That Keeps on Giving. Every mother I've talked to admits to guilt in one form or another about something. This book focuses more on what we as mothers are doing RIGHT and what we're NOT guilty about.

Which leads me to ask you a question Julie Ann asks in the book. What do YOU not feel guilty about as a mother?

I found that as I pondered on this question, I could think of several things, but I always seemed to add a disclaimer or qualifier to the end of my sentence. Such as, I don't feel guilty for providing my children with a clean home, but I wish I'd spent more time playing with or doing things with the kids. One of my favorite sayings is: 'No' is a complete sentence. I think when thinking of things I'm not feeling guilt over, I need to remember to end the sentence before I can add a 'but'.

So, answer my question. Or rather Julie Ann's question. What do you not feel guilty about as a mother?

9 comments:

Bee and Rose said...

I feel guilty when I find myself always saying..."just a minute...I'll be there in a second..." I hate it when I do that...I am really trying to be better about that:)

Charlie and Nicole Borders said...

I can see that it is hard to write what you are NOT guilty about. Well, I have a bad memory, and my child is only 2.5 years old. I'll wrack my brain...I do NOT feel guilty about letting him scream for 2 or 3 nights in order to get him to learn how to go to bed on his own, making him drink out of a sippy cup rather than a bottle at one year and taking his pacifier away at 18 months. I am sure there is more, but these are some of the things that seemed mean at the time, but were best for him in the long run.

Lauren said...

I do NOT feel guilty when they watch tv while I am sick or need a minute. That helps me to recuperate and be better in the long run.

Lee said...

I do NOT feel guilty that I force my 3 year old to eat some of everything off his plate and refuse to cook him a separate meal because he doesn't want what I fixed. I also do NOT feel guilty that if he refuses to eat, I refuse to give him anything else until the next meal or snack time.

Sharon said...

I do Not feel guilty about needing what I called "mommy time", I would set a timer and tell Tommy ok mommy needs just 5 minutes alone to unwind or just rejeuvenate.

5L's said...

obviously i have alot of guilt or it wouldn't take me this long to think of something....diff than everyone else. i do NOT feel guilty about exposing my children to different social situations and environments.

queenbee4 said...

I feel guilty when I make them wait for me... I second what Bee and Rose said.

One thing I don't feel guilty about however, is taking time for myself. If I am complete as a person, then I will be complete as a mother. I used to struggle with this, but you can't pour from an empty cup. I gotta have my own time to be me.

lagirl said...

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Cam said...

Not a mom, so no comment there, but I thought it might be worth mentioning that most authors have no control whatsoever over the artwork that graces the cover of their book. A lot of them are even appalled by it. Maybe with that in mind you'll give a book with a great title and synopsis a second look over that ugly cover art.

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