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Monday, April 5, 2010

Whew!

The past couple of weeks have been a roller coaster.  Full of ups and downs.  Some bad, but others good.  Quite the learning experience.  I've realized that a lot of my thinking has been skewed all these years.  My "belief window" has totally been fogged over.  I may not get everything out in this post, but I'll at least give you the gist of the past several days.

On March 19, my mother had a liver biopsy.  (Quick reminder: the woman I refer to as my mother is actually my aunt.  She's my birth mother's oldest sister and took me to raise when I was two.)  Mama had been having issues with itching under her skin for about a month and the doctors had been unable to find a cause.  So the biopsy.  She came through the procedure fine and was sent home--where she went into shock.  An ambulance was called, she was taken to the ER.  X rays, ultrasounds, CT scans, etc.  Sunday the 21st, the doctor tells us that my mother has pancreatic cancer and it may have spread to her liver.  If she chooses not to have treatment, the doctors give her 6 months--9 to 12 if she has treatment.  Being 92 years old, she says she's not going to go through all that medication and resulting side effects.  I don't blame her.

Late Monday evening, doc comes back in and basically says "oops, never mind".  It's not cancer at all, but some sort of stone and jaundice.  We had Mama's name on several prayer rolls and countless people praying for her.  Was this the miracle we were praying for?  Or ineptness on the part of the hospital?  I was choosing the latter until a dear friend reminded me of all the prayers going up.  Now I choose to believe that Heavenly Father blessed us with the miracle we were hoping for.

After several days and more procedures, it was determined that my mother had gall stones--even though her gall bladder had been removed ten years ago.  Be aware--even if you don't have a gall bladder, you still have the bile ducts and they still produce bile; therefore, you can still have gall stones.  Since they can't settle in the gall bladder, they attach to other places.  My mother's had formed a mass on her pancreas and thus looked like cancer on the tests.  After a scope to remove the stones, she was finally able to go home last Wednesday.  And while her recovery may be slow, at least it's not cancer.

Okay, when we were told she only had a few months to live, I called my birth mother and invited her to come down to pretty much say goodbye.  Out of the seven children, there's only three still alive: my mother, my birth mother, and another aunt who has Alzheimer's and doesn't know us anymore.  So my birth mother and oldest half sister came and stayed with us from Thursday to Sunday.  I haven't seen Ann (my birth mother) in almost four years (the time before that was 1994 and the time before that was 1972).  I hadn't seen Connie (my half sister) since 1968 or so.  I think we were all nervous at first.  I'd never had them in my home.  It was a good healing visit.  More about that in a future post.

On Saturday the 27th, Darrell drove to Georgia to meet our daughter and pick up her children.  They were on Spring Break last week and  stayed with us.  My birth mother got to meet three of my grandchildren.  It was quite an experience.  I had the best time with Melody, Elias, and Alexander last week.  They are such sweet kids--everybody says so, not just me!

I wish for so much more for them than they have right now.  I lay awake at night worrying about them and pleading with the Lord to take care of them.  Their emotional and physical well being weigh heavily on my heart and mind.  I try to remember the Serenity Prayer, but it doesn't always help.

Well, this has gone on long enough and I need to get busy.  More later.

12 comments:

♥Georgie♥ said...

Oh my Beverly...talk about a roller coaster...so glad she does not have cancer...Praying for you and your family!

Christie said...

Sounds like there is a lot rolling around in your head. I am glad to hear about your mom. And good luck with sorting everything else out. :-)

cherylthomas said...

I am so thankful for the way that our Heavenly Father takes situations in our lives and uses them for His Glory and for our good. How precious it must have been to share your beautiful grandbabies with your birth mom and sister! He is healing so much more than the physical!
I love the way you freely share from your heart.

Never Enough Orange said...

You didn't tell me all that last night. Its a good I check your blog all the time. How did holly's bunch enjoy meeting your mom?

Connie said...

Wow, you have really had some highs and lows to deal with. Miracles are happening all the time, it looks like yours are timely and powerful. I'm so happy for the healing taking place with your loved ones, you deserve it.

Take care sweet Beverly.

6L's said...

a good way of looking at it and most likely the case. :)
looking fwd to the rest. love ya!

Aunt Amelia's Attic said...

What a roller coaster!!! Hope all stays well now.

Aunt Amelia
Doris said we are over taxed, as is. I'm with Doris!

Jenn said...

Wow! Bless your heart! God is in control!

The Traylor's said...

This tugs at my heart stings, having recently lost my dad. It brought back a whole flood of emotions. I chose to write everything I was feeling in my blog. A few posts I didn't publish because they were too personal, but for the most part I published everything. I was a great way to not have to tell the story over and over and it was such an outlet for me. I occassionally go back and read about all we went through and for some reason it gives me strength. Hugs to you!

Shawn said...

Wow, your plate has been overflowing. Try and remember to Breathe. I'll keep good thoughts flowing your way.

Sweet Tea said...

What a mixture of emotions you must be having with all your going through. Glad your Mom is mending. Take care of yourself, GF.

Sharon said...

So glad Ruby is ok. I wish I could have come with mom for the visit. I am looking for to seeing you and getting to know you better (in person). I love you very much.

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