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Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Need Some New Bathroom Reading Material?

Ever heard of Uncle John?  He's one of the smartest people around!  Just read his books and you'll astound your family and friends with your wealth of information.  Not to mention how much better your chances of winning on Jeopardy will become!  The book I'm reading now was purchased at GW for $1.99.  Here's something I read today and laughed out loud about!  Hope you enjoy it, too.

If They Married

If Bo Derek married Don Ho, she'd be Bo Ho.

If Yoko Ono had married Sonny Bono, she would have been Yoko Ono Bono.

If Oprah Winfrey had married Depak Chopra, she'd be Oprah Chopra.

If Dolly Parton had married Salvador Dali, she would have been Dolly Dali.

If Olivia Newton-John married Wayne Newton, then divorced him to marry Elton John, she'd be Olivia Newton-John Newton John.

If Sondra Locke married Eliot Ness, then divorced him to marry Herman Munster, she'd become Sondra Locke Ness Munster.

If Bea Arthur married Sting, she'd be Bea Sting. 

If Liv Ullman married Judge Lance Ito, then divorced him and married Billy Beaver (game show host), she'd be Liv Ito Beaver.

If Shirley Jones married Tom Ewell, then Johnny Rotten, then Nathan Hale, she'd be Shirley Ewell Rotten Hale.

If Ivana Trump married, in succession, actor Orson Bean, King Oscar of Norway, Louis B. Mayer (of MGM fame), and Norbert Wiener (mathematician), she would then be Ivana Bean Oscar Mayer Wiener.

If Javier Lopez married Keiko the whale, and Edith Piaf married Rose Tu the elephant, they would be Javier Keiko and Edith Tu.

If Tuesday Weld married Hal March III, she'd be Tuesday March 3.

If Snoop Doggy Dogg married Winnie the Pooh, he'd be Snoop Doggy Dog Pooh.


Jenn said...

LOL!!!! Thanks for the good laugh! :o)

Lori E said...

Our coffee group would buy one of these for one of the members on his birthday. He always appreciated them. Too funny.

Lauren said...

Thanks for the laugh. My favorite one was about Shirley Jones. :)

Sweet Tea said...

That's my silly kind of humor. Loved it! LOL
You've lost it Girl, and I'm right there with you.

Bee and Rose said...

Hilarious! I really needed the giggles today! Thanks for such a fun post!

Connie said...

Just stopped by for some laughs. You delivered.

How have you been? Long time no hear.......

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