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Thursday, January 8, 2009

Please, Sir, Can I Have Some More?

Thanks to all of you who responded to my question about your fears and how to overcome them. I share those about losing a loved one, especially a husband. I think that just comes with the territory when you love someone. I also understand about not being alone at night. The first night I ever spent completely alone was after I was married. Darrell went on a scout campout with the YM from church. I kept all the lights on, as well as the TV till I fell asleep from exhaustion. Then we went to Italy and Darrell was sent to the field for 2 weeks. There I was in a foreign country all alone where no one would understand me if I yelled for help. Same scenario: all the lights on, the radio on (since we didn't have TV), finally sleeping from exhaustion. For 2 weeks! I never got used to it.

A couple of you touched on what I was getting at with my question. Clayton mentioned failure. That prompted me to ask what constitutes failure and how do you overcome what can become a paralyzing obstacle? The consensus was that it is better to have tried and failed than never to have tried at all. That's great in theory, but when push comes to shove, do you really go for the gusto? How do you push yourself past the fear of failure? How do you overcome the little voice in the back of your mind that tells you you can't do it? These are not rhetorical questions. I really want to hear what you think.

Tomorrow, the reason.

5 comments:

Charlie and Nicole Borders said...

Well, I guess I'll be the first. I think there may be too many questions here! So, you were just waiting for someone to say failure? I can't wait to see what this is all about tomorrow. I don't really know how to respond without a scenerio. Maybe I have no experience with this. But, I think Erika said it best- "If you try hard, it's never a failure. It's when you didn't give everything you had to give." So, I started this comment hoping to answer one of your questions, but I am really at a brick wall with this one. Perphaps go into it planning to be sucessful?

Lee said...

I think it depends on the scenario also. There are things that you can try to do because it interests you like rock climbing, playing the piano, or maybe writing something. If you try them and fail to do them well the first time, you can keep trying until you are good at it. However, there are things like church callings that you are given and if you do your best, you don't fail, even when it's a primary calling you don't think you taught the kids a thing, if you did your best, you didn't fail the kids or the Lord. I think like Erika and Nicole mentioned, trying is not failing. If you try, you learn something from your experience and therefore, isn't a total failure at all.

I worry that I'll be a failure as a mother. But then what constitutes being a failure as a mother? Didn't I not love my kids? Don't my kids KNOW I love them and they can come to me? Didn't I take them to church? Didn't I try to teach them right from wrong and to make the right choices? Of course we all could do that better, but didn't we do it at all? If I can say yes, I did those things (even if it wasn't to the absolute best I could have) then I'm not going to consider myself a failure. I'll consider myself someone who could improve, but not a failure. (This is obviously the area I worry about failing in.)

Lee said...

correction: Didn't I LOVE my kids? (not: didn't I not love them)

Our Family said...

i agree with the others...this could be about soooo many things that the answer could be different. i'm all for going for the gusto! you never know if you don't try! can't wait to hear the rest tomorrow! :)

Wishing I Was RETIRED! said...

I know fear can be paralizing, but if you don't try you will never know and that can haunt you too.

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