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Wednesday, November 4, 2009

An Open Letter

Dear Sadists who hung the wallpaper in my house:

Well, I hope you are satisfied.  You have succeeded in bringing a grown woman to her knees--not once, but four times now.  And it'll happen one more time before all is said and done; there's still that border in the guest bedroom.  I can only imagine your gleeful Chesire cat smile as you slapped wallpaper up on an unprimed wall.  Do you know what happens when you put wallpaper directly onto unpainted wallboard?  Nothing, I guess, until someone tries to remove that wallpaper.  And if said wallpaper is a lovely shiny vinyl material from the 70s, so much the better.  Ever used a steamer to remove this type of wallpaper?  It sssttrreettcchheess.  And it takes the wallboard with it.  A small bath which should have only taken a couple of hours took days.  And because the walls were so damaged, I had to repaper to cover the mess.

Then there's the other bathroom.  Not quite as bad as the first, but bad enough.  I'm sure you had nothing to do with the wallpaper in one of the bedrooms.  You couldn't have.  It came off in sheets--like properly applied wallpaper should.

Today I started removing the border in my bedroom.  With my fingers crossed and my heart in my throat, I found a seam and pulled--hoping against hope that it would come off in large strips.  But of course not,  What did you use to apply this stuff--Gorilla Glue?  Liquid Nails?  After two hours, I only had two walls done.  My neck and shoulders insisted I wait till tomorrow to attempt the other walls.  If I can raise my arms, that is.

To give you an idea of what I'm up against, here are a few pictures.  Enjoy!  Oh, and while I'm thinking of it, I apologize for the names I called you and for the terrible things I wished upon you and yours.  All is forgiven--until tomorrow when I start up again!

the ugly dated border that doesn't match my decor


a closeup so the ugliness can be better appreciated



a few of the pieces I was able to peel off--I used a couple of household items for size comparison


the tools I finally resorted to


sort of a before, during, and after (reading right to left)



Signed,
Wallpaper is from Satan--I don't care what anyone says!

7 comments:

5L's said...

so i've heard. so glad we don't have any! good luck with the rest!

5L's said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sharon said...

I feel for you. I have been there. No one should be allowed to put up border. It should be outlawed!!! (I bet a man came up with the idea for border).

Scrappy Doo said...

i agree with Sharon Outlaw it!
I can feel the neck and shoulder all the way here in Texas.
Good Luck

Jen said...

When we moved into our house, we had 2 rooms with hideous wallpaper borders. I took one look and hired a pro. I am SO GLAD because they were awful to remove, just like yours. And I don't have the stamina. Kudos to you for doing it all yourself!!

Never Enough Orange said...

A man would never come up with the idea of a wallpaper border. IF a man were to car about such a thing, it would be wood. BUT that would mean actually caring.

Sue said...

Beverly, My suggestion to you is to first peel off all of the top vinyl. Then, using HOT water, spray a section of the paper backing still on the wall. (I use the big pump sprayer that most people use for bug spray- using a tiny spray bottle hurts my hands!) Let the water soak in for a few minutes, then use a 6 inch spackle broadknife to scrape it off the wall. Works like a charm for me every time! As I like to use wallpaper and change it every so often, I've used this method many times over- even when I scraped off the 3 rooms in this house that weren't primed. Some people add a little fabric softener to the hot water. Let me know what you think if you try this. What do you have to lose? LOL
:-) Sue

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