Can you keep a secret? Shhh, don't tell anyone, but I am old enough to qualify for AARP. What? What do you mean you already knew that? And here I thought I hid it so well. Anyway (not anyways), Darrell is actually the one old enough--I just get to go along for the ride. We got the monthly magazine today and I came across a little article that confirmed something I already knew. However, it's nice to get validation from an outside source. I couldn't find a link, but it's in the Mar/Apr 2011 edition and was written by Tina Adler.
"A little grandmotherly attention can help children avoid social and emotional problems, a recent study of Iowa families suggests. Even a weekly phone chat with Grandma can reduce the odds of poor social skills for kids prone to frustration. (Grandpas weren't included in the study.) And loving grandmother involvement can keep kids with harsh parents from becoming defiant, says study coauthor Melissa A. Barnett, Ph.D., assistant professor at the University of Arizona. Other research suggests grandparents help by supporting harried parents. How best to do that? 'Ask your child how you can pitch in this week--a parent's needs change day-to-day,' says Ruth Nemzoff, Ed.D., author of Don't Bite Your Tongue: How to Foster Rewarding Relationships With Your Adult Children. One grandfather she writes about sang to his grandchildren on Skype in the mornings while his son sipped his coffee."
My maternal grandmother was a big part of my life growing up. I knew she loved me unconditionally and I loved her. It wasn't anything specifically she did--more the way she made me feel. That's the kind of grandmother I strive to be.
It wasn't until I was typing this that I realized part of the article comes from a book I'm currently reading. Parenting adult children is a whole different ballgame and, even though my children have been adults for a while (the youngest is 28), I'm always looking for ways to improve the relationships I have with them. Hopefully, we'll all be around for a good long time and I want us to not only love each other, but like each other and enjoy one another's company. This includes those who've married into our family.
What do you think? How are your relationships with your children? How about with your own parents? I like to think I'm a wonderful grandmother and a fairly good mother, but I know I stink at being a daughter. Any tips or tricks you'd like to share? Advice? Juicy stories? ;-)