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Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Nana Power

Can you keep a secret?  Shhh, don't tell anyone, but I am old enough to qualify for AARP.  What?  What do you mean you already knew that?  And here I thought I hid it so well.  Anyway (not anyways), Darrell is actually the one old enough--I just get to go along for the ride.  We got the monthly magazine today and I came across a little article that confirmed something I already knew.  However, it's nice to get validation from an outside source.  I couldn't find a link, but it's in the Mar/Apr 2011 edition and was written by Tina Adler.

"A little grandmotherly attention can help children avoid social and emotional problems, a recent study of Iowa families suggests.  Even a weekly phone chat with Grandma can reduce the odds of poor social skills for kids prone to frustration.  (Grandpas weren't included in the study.)  And loving grandmother involvement can keep kids with harsh parents from becoming defiant, says study coauthor Melissa A. Barnett, Ph.D., assistant professor at the University of Arizona.  Other research suggests grandparents help by supporting harried parents.  How best to do that? 'Ask your child how you can pitch in this week--a parent's needs change day-to-day,' says Ruth Nemzoff, Ed.D., author of Don't Bite Your Tongue: How to Foster Rewarding Relationships With Your Adult Children.  One grandfather she writes about sang to his grandchildren on Skype in the mornings while his son sipped his coffee."

My maternal grandmother was a big part of my life growing up.  I knew she loved me unconditionally and I loved her.  It wasn't anything specifically she did--more the way she made me feel.  That's the kind of grandmother I strive to be.

It wasn't until I was typing this that I realized part of the article comes from a book I'm currently reading.  Parenting adult children is a whole different ballgame and, even though my children have been adults for a while (the youngest is 28), I'm always looking for ways to improve the relationships I have with them.  Hopefully, we'll all be around for a good long time and I want us to not only love each other, but like each other and enjoy one another's company.  This includes those who've married into our family.

What do you think?  How are your relationships with your children?  How about with your own parents?  I like to think I'm a wonderful grandmother and a fairly good mother, but I know I stink at being a daughter.  Any tips or tricks you'd like to share?  Advice?  Juicy stories? ;-)


Connie said...

I am so glad there is a study to show the importance of grandparents. I always knew there was more to being a grandma than baking cookies.

Oh ya, if you learn any tips or tricks about mother/daughter relationships as adults I would love to hear them Me thinks sometimes you have to let go of things you cannot change in others. At least that is what I have had to do.

6L's said...

well, we share the same feelings bc i think i stink at being a daughter too. the thing is, i don't know if i'm at a poitnwhere i want to invest the emotional time in chaging that. how terribel does that sound?
i love this little article on the importance of grandparents. i think my kids have such an advantage having their grandparents involved in their lives. i never had that growing up and i can see the diff with my kids and their excitement for their grandparents. i hop that when they won't come to us that they will talk to their grandparents bc of the love that they feel. great post! :)
ps have you tried a green smoothie yet? ;)

Kammy said...

I am not a Grandma yet..When I do become one, I know it will be fantastic. I have a great relationship with my 3 kids (22,20 & 16). My parents were divorced when I was a kid. My Dad doesn't communicate with me (it is very sad). I talk to my Mom about once every couple of months. My parents both live in other states. Now, my
Grandmother (she is 88)light of my life. I see her or call her at least every day ! My hubby and I (married 27 years) vow to make "our branch" on the family tree , stronger and closer.

EmptyNester said...

I have a fun little game/award for you at my blog. Stop by and pick it up!

Carrie B said...

Hmmm... food for thought, I must say.

I'm a pretty good daughter and as far as I know I believe I have pretty good relationships with all my kids (22,20,19) That said, I can see where that relationship is ever changing as they age. It's always something, isn't it?

I think I'm a good daughter because it's my nature to be a peace keeper. I have sisters on either side of me who are not. Ha. So... that makes me the reasonable one. :)

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