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Sunday, August 7, 2011

Day Four...


Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.   I need to forgive my mother for not calling me sooner when my grandmother died.   I loved my grandmother dearly.  She cared for me and my brother for many years when we first came to live with our aunts--sisters of our birth mother.  Mama Hester was the one person in the world whom I knew loved me unconditionally.  I've said before it wasn't anything she did--more just the way she made me feel.  


She had been in a nursing home for some time, but I had no idea how short her time was.  I got the call on a Sunday night--a little more than 12 hours before the funeral.  I was living 500 miles away and we were poor.  I remember telling my mother that even if I got in the car right then, I couldn't make it in time.  If I'd been notified earlier, I would have done anything in my power to come.  Sold furniture, borrowed the money, anything.  But I was denied that opportunity.   I've never asked why they didn't call me sooner.  Maybe I'm afraid of the answer.


I know in the long run it doesn't really matter.  Mama Hester knows how I feel about her and what she means to me.  She understands the circumstances that kept me away.  I just wish I could have been there to tell her goodbye. 


3 comments:

EmptyNester said...

Wow, this 30 days of truth is quite something. You're making me think. A lot. I admire you for putting it out there!

Connie said...

You certainly have a right to be upset about such an oversight. I hear you on the forgiveness part, sometimes it takes years to find the forgiveness that the Savior would have us give. I think the process is not quite understood by many and some would say 'just get over it', but to that I would say, "when you have walked in my shoes and know my heart then you can judge me". I hope this doesn't sound too harsh, it's just how I feel.


Once again I am sending a huge hug your way.

Sweet Tea said...

That's a tough one.
I can understand how not having the opportunity to be there is hurtful. It's one of those things where there is no "do-over" possible. It was an emotional loss for you. I "get it", Beverly.
*sigh

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